Frost Defense minister Daisuke Revgarin, firmly denied that the Frost Empire was invading the DPRR and stated “that despite the saber rattling and slander from the Communists, the soldiers of the Frost Empire continue to valiantly defend the DMZ and have not advanced into the DPRR.”
The minister continued to state that the Empire would be willing to agree to a ceasefire if their communist counterparts would agree without preconditions.
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In another totally legit poll conducted in the city of Kurzweise, independent surveyors asked 100 people regarding their opinion on the recent border clash between the DPRR and the Frost Empire.
Out of 100 questionnaires:
82 called for both sides to show restrain
58 sided with the Frost Empire over the dispute
41 answered “another conflict in Bareland?”
28 called for Weisserstein to reinforce its forces in its Eastern Allies to protect them from a possible communist aggression
1 person accidentally slipped and dropped his ice cream while being interviewed. He stated that he currently feels “devastated over the loss of his double chocolate rainbow sprinkles ice cream” and will “forever mourn this great loss”
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Election season has started for the Prime Minister role in FiHami.
A look at candidates who have announced intentions to run, by party:
FiHami United Party:
Jan Weioni: has stated that she wants to work establish a specific ministry of FiHami Culture dedicated to celebrating and educating others on FiHami’s diversity
Sitka Izaki: no campaign promises yet
Maira Ichikanfi: Writer of the show “Quiet Life”, wants to work with other parties to settle differences and “Work Towards a Colorful FiHami”.
FiHami Fiscal Conservatives:
Tuotamar Hastofi: wants to cut regulation for smaller businesses and add regulation for bigger businesses
Jeremiah Hart: wants to add subsidies to FiHami agriculture sector, reduce taxes, and add tariffs to imports.
FiHami Fiscal Freedom Party:
Naomi Ishi: has promised to slash taxes and regulations across the board.
Finixi Traditionalist Party:
Texeteti’ Kokostali: Has vowed to release himself from prison, force men into partnerships under matriarchs, enslave the Antarchi population, ban foreigners from setting foot in FiHami
Mari Fi’Shi: wants Antarchi populations to pay reparations, re-legalize the death sentence. Sign laws requiring villages to appoint a matriarch, abolish parliament
Antarchi Youth Party:
Hana Martha: wants to pay reparations for the Antarchi Empire, encourage education on Finixi culture
Antarchi Patriots:
Kaleb White-Sound: wants to abolish the Finixi chiefdom, ban religion
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President Storm officially hands over the keys to the first residents of the new Blancopolis city project. The Xanderson family, refugees from Emerald have moved into a seafront eco-house after receiving job offers in the new city, Mr Xanderson will be teaching Mathematics at the new Three Pines Grammar School, and Mrs Xanderson will be working as a welder in construction.
President Storm said “It’s a great day for Blancopolis and Izaakia, as this new city turns from an idea into a home, a home which provides opportunities for everyone”
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Meanwhile in Conaro, Prince Marco VIII has been spotted driving 240 km/h while showing the finger to paparazzi. It’s speculated that this stunt was a way to showcase his frustrations the last time he was seen speeding at such speeds two years ago, resluting in him abolishing any speed limit across the Principality amidst public backlash.
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President Storm becomes the first elected Izaakian Head of State to lead the annual Montwælda Parade, that celebrates the unification of the Montacian tribes in around 1400BC. President Storm wore white imperial dress armour for the parade, and was mounted on a traditional White Haired Warhorse. The parade through Izaakston happened following an overnight snow storm that left 8 inches of snow on the ground.
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Vendlindja Jöne officially established its new police force. Vendlindja Jöne is a city that suffered significantly less damage comparison to its more eastern counterparts due to its absence of extremely tall buildings, mostly being filled with older building styles that mostly predate 1970, less infrastructure was destroyed, and far less debris cover the streets. The police were filled with experienced militants that worked against the pro-Molician insurgents along with volunteer civilians trained by Jakubian National Police.
Local police patrolling an outer street in Vendlindja Jöne
Chłopakcałujący’s battle continues as the city is slowly pushed into more. Ignacy Truchan, a captain in charge of a Jakubian infantry company referred to the combat as, “A slow form of door-to-door combat.”
Jakubian infantry moving through a cleared street in Chłopakcałujący
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Good morning, Goanya!
Here are the latest headlines for the morning of May 15th, 2023.
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A video has gone viral of a Western man and a polar bear fighting, then making up and sharing a drink. In slightly related news, the Center for Health and Disease has released a new set of anti-drug public service announcements.
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Somehow, it’s already campaign season for the office of Prime Minister, and yesterday incumbent Jacob Mann (O-2) has released a video of him and some random kid dancing. Also, the amount of staff working on his campaign has halved in the last 12 hours.
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The Treaty of the Waves with the ocean ice is set to expire next week, with top defense analysts predicting a full invasion by sea ice within the next month. The government recommends people shelter in place while the military deals with the threat of the sea ice by pumping egregious amounts of carbon dioxide and methane into the air.
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Here’s a real tearjerker: The far-right Union candidate for the District 9 Parliament seat, Connor Becker, has unfortunately made a very good point about freedom of speech. Although, with all the bullshit he says on Praat Goanya, I’d be shocked if he recommended people who say bad things be locked up. We’d all be better off, but still shocked.
In international news, there’s like another war or something and there’s some more genocide. That’s probably wrong, although it’s a good enough guess since that seems to happen a lot nowadays.
I’ll see you all next time on the Morning Show.
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Politician and Historian Nikolai Kalimov has been inaugurated as Prime Minister of Kliegme after a 351 to 99 majority in the Duma.
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After 10 days of silence, today the GA has held their first protests. Several major streets in Münner, such as the “Fluss Avenue” (River Avenue) which was blocked over its full 6 lanes. Other roads were blocked as well. The Münnen Int’l Airport had a break in passenger numbers, as all roads leading towards the airport were blocked. In total 15 streets were blocked in Münnen today.
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After almost a week of fighting along the Demilitarized zone the Frost empire and DPRR have agreed to a temporary ceasefire
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Ministry of Foreign Affairs have announced successful purchase of weaponry and tanks from Emerald-Denver. Acting Minister of Defence, Brigadier General Rawson Dyke announced that the weaponry will be used to bolster internal security, especially in the coming campaigning season. The purchase cost Livana around $10 million or ₣41.4 million.
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The Lužnyčkan Goverment has started planning goverment reform and started planning the 1st elections of the Grand Duke (Veliki Vojvoda).
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The Ministry of Internal Affairs has revealed that it has arrested 15 foreign fishermen and seized their ships, 2 boats to be exact, for fishing in Kliegme’s sovereign waters without permission. The fishermen has said that they were Terminan, and reported that they were unaware of their trespassing. Given that the “motivation”, or the lack of it, was understandable, the fishermen will be sent back to the TCC after additional questioning via the Terminan embassy in Kliegme. However, under Kliegmean laws, the 2 boats are to remain in Kliegmean hands.
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Lookalike of Molician insurgent leader Bogdan Melazami Bjeshar was seen in a small burger shack in Lindenau, adding to the list of individuals whose lookalikes appeared in the Weissersteiner city
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Commenting on the recent fishing incursion of Kliegme waters by Terminan vessels, the Keanu and Hurley PM Taika has said that “It is important and very serious for countries to respect their neighbours waters as if it were sovereign territory, you wouldn’t go to a neighbouring country and cut down a forest, why should the seas be seen differently?”.
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Kliegmean Authorities have found several Itrysh eels in the boat’s seized from the Terminan fishers. Itrysh eels are an endangered species of eels living in the Itrysh river, and is protected under Kliegmean Law. As Itrysh eels go downstream into the ocean to lay eggs, it was likely that they were caught during the process. Given that the eels were found in large numbers and were not mixed with other species of eels, Kliegmean Authorities have deemed the incident as poaching, and informed the Terminan embassy that Kliegme will conduct more thorough investigation into the fishermen’s motives before repatriation.
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Today in Holy Free, as per tradition, the Princess of Wader will be overseeing the paint restoration of the
Koninklijk Blok Hout, also known as, the Royal Block of Wood.
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The battle of Alnesbos ended today with the surrender of the LPF insurgents. Casualties total 1,395 with numbers climbing.
In other news, the vote on the abolishment of the militia system has passed unanimously in a historic vote. The Confederation of Losavra will organize its military into a cohesive unit rather than the chaotic system of the past.
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