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As Valkyria looks to abolish rent, other nations look to increase it

November 15, 2022

Valkyrian Prime Minister Steve Bennett recently announced a proposal to seize private property in Valkyria being used as a rental property, sparking criticism from many nations across Pacifica. Now, in response, many of those nations are enacting policies of their own to raise the cost of renting within their borders to counter this dangerous trend.

Stoinian Prime Minister Gheorghe Vlaicu was one of the first to voice concerns about the nationalization of housing in Valkyria. “This could lead to things much worse to come. Today they nationalize the houses. Tomorrow they nationalize the mansions. A year from now they’ll nationalize the Prime Minister’s palace. I don’t think that’s a good example to set.” Nevertheless, after relocating away from the steps of his Prime Minister’s palace, Vlaicu finished his speech by stating he understood the Valkyrian government’s ‘noble’ goals. “I just think, you know, Prime Ministers should stick out for each other. So, uh, Steve—I mean, PM Bennett—just blink twice if things get heated.”

Pelinai was more vocal in its alarm. A spokeswoman announced that “businesses are encouraged to withdraw from Valkyria” and voiced serious concerns over “forced nationalization.” The full statement released by the Ministry of Economics and Ministry of Foreign Affairs elaborated by saying that “it is ridiculous for Valkyria to tell Pelinese firms what to do with their land. Only the Pelinese Ministry of Economics should be able to tell our companies what they should and shouldn’t do. And today we are telling them to leave Valkyria.” The message was broadcast live across Pacifica through the Pelograd Apostle, which is the official state media service of the Kingdom of Pelinai.

But the most extreme of all was Izaakia, which accused the Valkyrian government of stealing billions of shark teeth. “It’s ridiculous,” a spokesman said. “We will be taking action in response. As is our usual practice, we will be invad—oh, my apologies. We will be raising rent prices. Valkyria is trying to steal billions from Izaakian landlords, so we will make up the difference by making landlords here charge more for rent.”

Amid a clamor from the press corps, the spokesman doubled down. “When they go low, we go high! And when they cut rent to zero, we must raise it sky-high. Bigger numbers are good for the economy. A year from now, rental income in Valkyria will be zero. Who will be laughing then? We will.”

Trading was initially down on the Izaakian stock exchange before the government announced it would be raising stock prices in addition to rent prices. Stock prices subsequently ended the day up 2.43%.

Trading on Valkyrian stock exchange Pacifinext, meanwhile, continues to be down.

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