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Origins: NationStates | Dispatch | The O'Leary and the Macclesfield's
Let’s begin!
The O’Leary and Macclesfield family’s are two of the oldest and most prominent sheep farmers in the Southern Dependencies. However, they’re much more famous for their constant fighting and brawls - since 1898, they’ve had no less than 10 conflicts.
On September 7th 1898, H.F. O’Leary and T.W. Macclesfield (son’s of the then family head’s) - 18 and 17 respectively - would begin to argue over a girl who they’d both been courting. The two men went into exrutating details about things that simply would make you faint!
And by the end of the day, they’d went home in a huff.
On September 8th, H.F. O’Leary would write a letter to Macclesfield calling him “a disgraceful and ugly bastard with the constitution of a mare’s arse,” and he was a “dirty buggerer, engendered with delusions.” unfortunately I can’t write what Macclesfield’s rebuttal was, as it is so profane even the toughest soul would be moved. Nevertheless, upon recieving this Macclesfield would inform his father, Louis Alexander Macclesfield (1867-1945).
L.A. Macclesfield was beyond furious about his son’s honour being damaged, he flew into a fit of uncontrollable rage and disdain before collapsing and wetting himself - because he was plastered drunk. Upon waking up and remembering who he was and what he was doing, Louis Alexander ordered his wife and 17 children to immediately grab their arms, because they were going to the O’Leary farm.
The entire Macclesfield brood would arrive at the O’Learys farm at 9:45 Am on the 9th of September, where they were met by the O’Learys armed to the teeth. A gun brawl then broke out, with a pig cavalry charge (yes, you read that right) being sent by the Macclesfield’s. Eventually both sides were warn out and on 20th of September, both sides would withdraw.
Now, if you think this was the end, it wasn’t. Another war would break out in 1901. In fact, they’ve had 9 other conflicts since then, they are:
The 1st O’Leary-Macclesfield war (1901-1903)
The Winston O’Leary incident (1911)
The 2nd O’Leary-Macclesfield war (1916-17)
The Sheep Pen war (1918-1999)
The 3rd O’Leary-Macclesfield war (1927-1939)
The Goose Green incident (25 October 1951)
The Port Stanley crash (1957)
The St Helena riots (1969-70)
The 4th O’Leary-Macclesfield war (1987-2023)
On the 1st of February 2023, 125 years after the incident aforementioned, the two families finally met outside of Goose green to discuss a truce. A glorious page in the history of these clans.