I have a few comments:
- This feels slightly contradictory. Is the military led by the Prime Minister and the Admiralty, or is the Admiralty the “supreme entity leading the military”? My suggestion would be the rephrase the second clause to “the primary entity leading the military”.
- Is there a reason why “Captain” and “Admiral” are capitalised? I feel that they shouldn’t be.
- In such cases who is allowed to exercise operational command? Would it be the Prime Minister?
- If assent may be rescinded “at any time and for any reason” does that mean that assent could be lawfully rescinded for, say, having a public disagreement on unrelated matters with an admiral?
- Why would honourable discharge be one of the allowed disciplinary actions? If one is being disciplined to the extent that discharge is warranted isn’t that almost by definition dishonourable?