Hello :3 it is I, your most Ari-est person in TSP!

[Guy] Yeah, I’m married. Does it matter? You’d do that for me? Really? Yeah, I’d like that.
[Gal] Who are you talking to?
[Guy] It’s Jake from State Farm. It sounds like a really good deal.
[Gal] Jake from State Farm at three in the morning – Who is this?
[Guy] It’s Jake from State Farm.
[Gal] What are you wearing, “Jake from State Farm”?
[Jake] Uh… Khakis?
[Gal] Well, she sounds hideous.
[Guy] Well, “she’s” a guy, so…

Leader of the Goth-Witch Hello Kitty Furry Latino-Polish Tomboy Tomgirl Marine Femboy Harem, Creator of Squeezed Knees, Heir to the Darmine Doggy Door Franchise and the Corncob TV show Coffin Flop, Member of the Royal Cakeist Club, Survivor and Hero of the Bakers Rumble, Personality of The South Pacific, Jake from State Farm.